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Dance Break

It’s Wednesday. In the past week and a half I have not gone to bed before 11 pm every night, and normally the clock is ticking closer to 1 am. I have spent more hours studying this week alone than I have possibly in my entire life. I have somewhere to be at 8am, 9am, 11 am, 2pm, 3pm, 6pm, and 8pm today.  I haven’t been home for longer than one night since labor day.  I just got my grade back from a test and did not do so good. My room is a mess, and I’m not quite sure the socks I have on are clean.

My answer to “how are you?” has become a routine “tired.” College creates a perfect setting for stress, worry, and tears. It is easy to become caught up in classes, majors, tests,  jobs, and trying to have a social life somewhere in there. Today I got in my dorm and sat down in my chair and checked the clock to see how many minutes I had to breathe before getting started on whatever was next. I went through the routine of pulling pandora up as soon as I shut the door behind me. What should have come next is maybe a sigh, a couple tears, or yanking my planner out of my book-bag to make sure I had not missed something. However, from something other than myself, a smile flooded my soul and I had a dance party. In my dorm room, all alone, laughing, smiling, and dancing all around just because. Jesus flooded me with the joy of His presence. I paused for a second to consider what was happening, and whispered to  my soul was “look around.”

Look around.

Look around at the opportunity that I have to be at a university.

Look around at the school work I have that is teaching me more and more about all that the Lord has revealed to us in knowledge.

Look around at the friends that I have to hangout with and make memories with.

Look around at the family I have back home that cares enough to check in on me, even when they know I am too busy to call.

Look around at the positions the Lord has placed me in where I get to build relationships, pour into people, and grow myself.

Look around at the blessings that are overflowing in my life.

Yes, I have homework. Yes, I was supposed to be somewhere ten minutes ago. And Yes, a pb and j might be all that I have for supper again tonight.

But God is so good to me and I have every reason to be dancing in Him.

Psalm 100:5
For the Lord is GOOD;
and His steadfast love endures forever.

All of these temporary things crowd our view of our God. His goodness outweighs business. His love overpowers stress. His faithfulness speaks peace to the most anxious places. We all have so much going on and are worn down, so take a break and remind yourself of how generous He is to bless us with so much to be busy with.

Take a dance break. Let God fill your soul with His spirit. Kick off your shoes, close the planner, and if even for only two minutes experience all that comes with knowing Jesus and THANK HIM. Dance it out, get a renewed mind, and tackle whatever is next. Not because you can, but because the one that is in you is greater.

Dance it out, friends. Dance in Him.

 

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Walk from VICTORY

I used to dread the topic of “my testimony.” Countless times as a middle-schooler I would tell my mom that I saw no need in sharing how I came to know the Lord, because I never felt there was a time in my life that I didn’t know Him. Even up until recently He has been reminding me of the VICTORY that He won in my life when He took my lifeless heart and breathed grace into it! All that I am today is a beautiful testimony of His goodness and faithfulness to me; once dead and lost, now redeemed and free!

It is true that there was never a time in my life that I did not “know” Jesus. This was just a head knowledge, however. I grew up in and around church (and how thankful I am for that!) My parents lived the Gospel at home, and taught us the truth of His Word! My church family was more than just a Sunday morning visit, but they were consistently and intently involved in my life from the time I was born up until now. I was raised on Alice in Bible Land books, VBS song motions, and Wednesday night kickball tournaments. I knew all the answers, how to say the best prayer, and every word to “I’ll Fly Away.” I KNEW God, but my heart was very far from Him. At some point I walked an aisle and said a prayer, and not that you cannot be in sincere in that because the Lord works in us all in different ways, but in my life there was no heart connection to my actions.

When I got into middle school, I began to experience a little bit of the “world” that I had never seen before. I learned that not everyone had the same church upbringing that I had. Because of my Bible raising, my mind was good at telling me right from wrong. When I chose to go along with the world, my conscious ate me alive. Sometimes it did not stop me,  other times I might sit in the background but with a heart burning with great desire for the worldly ways that I was seeing around me. I struggled with craving acceptance from the world with my entire being. My heart and my mind were so fooled by the lies that I was being told. I was so distant from the Lord, and I had my sights on a very slippery, dangerous slope. During the Christmas break of my 7th grade year, I experienced relationship with the Lord for the first time at a youth conference called Connect. For so long I had “known” God, but during those few days in the mountains of Tennessee, I experienced God. I learned that it was more than a head knowledge that I needed, but that the God of the Universe wanted a personal and intimate relationship with me. He wanted me to walk with Him daily and grow in His grace and His love.

For the longest time I did not feel that this story was worth telling. How inspirational could it be if I was raised in the church, toyed with the world for a handful of seconds, and then was brought to the place of understanding the death of my sin and my need for Him.  How many other people had the same story? Ive been through this in my head a thousand times over, but this past week the Lord reminded me once again of His Victory in my life and how POWERFUL it is and that is must be shared! I never came to a place that the world would consider “bad”. But what the world considers as good and what God considers good are two different things.

Romans 6:23a

For the wages of sin is death…

There is not a sin scale that determines good from bad, but it is all piled into the same bucket and considered death. I was dead. I was lost. I had no hope. BUT GOD.

Romans 6:23b

…but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

My life is a testimony of His greatness, because without him saving my soul I would be in a very, very dark place. When I think about where I could be today I am so overwhelmed and gratefulness for my God. When I sing praises to Him, when I desire to tell others about Him, when I spend the summer as a camp counselor, when I read my Bible, when I spend time in prayer, when I love on others it is not because I am good but because HE IS GOOD. None of this is me, none of this is of my self, none of this is where I was heading. I have no reason at all to boast because all that I am is from Him. I have no idea why He would choose to save me to use as His vessel on this earth, but He has- and that truth blows my mind.

I was driving down the road the other day when I began to consider all of this again. Tears rolled down my face as I prayed to Him “God, thank you!” Whatever your testimony consists of- whether you walked down the dark path or only had the heart and were heading in that direction. Whether you were raised in church or did not know the first word to Amazing Grace. We are all united in our total separation and hopelessness due to sin. BUT when Christ comes in He makes you white as snow and He takes what is dead and breathes into it LIFE. That sends chills down my back! He has given me hope, joy, and ABUNDANT life (John 10:10).

It is the victory that I have found in Christ that drives me forward each day. I pray that if you know Him as your savior, the same would be true for you. Let us walk in the light of the life that we have in HIM ALONE. Let it change the way we think, the way we act, the things we do, and the people we love. He bought you with His blood, so WALK FROM THAT VICTORY!!

Titus 3:3-7

For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly though Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

It is so easy to claim Christ. It is in our Instagram bios, plastered on our Facebook walls, and maybe even the background of our phones. So many people are claiming Christ. We are not called to just claim Him. He has saved us, redeemed us, given us new life so that we can not only claim Him, but also PROCLAIM Him. It is so easy to go along with the ways of this world and wear Jesus on your sleeve, I am guilty of this as well. But we have to be constantly reminded of the name that we are carrying around. How are you representing Christ? Don’t stop at claiming Him. If you are going to claim His death, His resurrection, and His salvation work in your life- proclaim it to the nations!

Our testimonies don’t end after we “ask Jesus into our hearts.” Our testimonies continue to be written every single day that we are given. This was laid on my heart a couple weeks ago and I wrote the following in response. Running our race for Jesus and living a sold out life for Him is not easy, but as I said before- it is HIS VICTORY that drives us on! It is not in ourselves, in our strength, in our ability.

On a hilly terrain lined with trees and brush, the race isn’t always easily run. Rocks trip us up, limbs crowd our view, and our breath runs short. We are to run our race with eyes fixed on the finish line, but that’s not easily done when all we see ahead is the next mound we must climb. Sweat drips from our brow and doubts cloud our thoughts. Is our sight set in the wrong direction? What if instead of focusing solely on the dirt underneath our feet and the pain in our lungs, we fixed our eyes above? Though leaves may block our view, as we continue on our journey forward glimmers of light break through upward. What if in that moment instead of growing weary by the miles left to run, we reminded ourselves why we are running in the first place; remind ourselves of the one that is unchanging and constant? The race might take us through different scenery where He is seen sometimes more, sometimes less, like valleys and mountains, but that doesn’t alter His presence. It is in those places where He is harder to see that our eyes for Him grow stronger. We must not question why we are where we are; for His understanding is unsearchable. We must fix our eyes on those glimmers of light and train our souls to fight and to run not because we can, but because He already did.

Walk from VICTORY brothers and sisters.

 

Father,

Thank you for my salvation! Thank you for the life that I get to live because of your son! I cannot praise your name enough, Jesus! I would be in such a scary place had you not stepped into the picture. You are so good to me. God, I pray that all that I do would point back to you, that I would be your vessel here and proclaim you with my life and walk in victory every day.

I love you.

Love, Em

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Purity Ring Promise

I am a hopeless romantic. My heart skips a beat at the sight of love. One of the biggest desires in my heart is to be loved by someone and to love someone. I dream of the day that I get to walk down the aisle and join together with the one who will love me as Christ has loved the church. Simply put, I want to be madly in love. While it comes across as sweet and romantic, this can so easily become a distraction and can lead me down a very dark path. This hope to find love can weave its way into the inner parts of my heart and place itself above all, becoming an idol in life.

Since middle school I have worn a “purity” ring on my ring finger. At one time it was a silver band that read “faith” until my mom bought me a new one for my birthday that resembles somewhat of a verrrrrry small wedding ring, but with my birthstone. For the longest time I wore the ring with no thought except that it seemed as something a “cool” christian should do. As I have gotten older I have began to question deeper as to what the meaning of a purity ring is and what it means in my life, personally. What does the little band around my fourth finger truly symbolize? What kind of relationship does it hold between my life and the Lord’s? Ive heard several general answers of “saving sex till marriage,” but I wanted more than that.

Over the past couple of months I have looked down at my ring and tried to to devise exactly what it meant for me in my life and with my relationship with Jesus. I have had my fair share of heartbreaks, and quite frankly I am worn down and tired or putting my heart on the line. As I have faced difficult days in the search for Mr. Right, I’ve come to realize that the small garnet stone means much more than saving my purity for the one that I will one day become one with.

Ive read several blogs recently that alluded to the truth of finding full satisfaction in the Lord, which has been on my heart pretty often in the past year. What does it mean to be fully satisfied in the Lord? What does it look like in life lived out? How do you reach that point where you truly see all else as a loss in comparison to knowing Christ?  Its much easier said than done. We are satisfied with the Lord “plus this” or “plus that.” I am the one most guilty of this, especially when it comes to finding love. Bare with me in a moment of vulnerability- I want Jesus, but I struggle to want to be loved sometimes a little more. Not to mean that I do not seek the Lord, but sometimes it seems as if I’m seeking to fill that place in my heart a little more. Its not easy to admit. The Christian answer should be that I would be fine with husband or no husband- as long as I have Jesus. But my heart selfishly desires to be filled with more than just Jesus.

I do not believe for one second that there is any wrong in the hopes to one day get married, but I want that to come second to finding more of Jesus. As I look at my purity ring and as this struggle of my heart wages war, I hear the Lord whispering to my soul “come and find love in me.” I recently read an article by a girl that took a year off of dating in hopes to fall more in love with Jesus and then magically find her one true love at the end of her year commitment. As the year came to a close, she found that she wasn’t rushing to jump back into the dating world because she had found all that she needed in Jesus. She writes,

“Don’t be afraid to date God for a little while.  He is a HUGE romantic too. I mean the sunsets and sunrises He gave me just swept me off my feet. Taking that year off from dating was the best decision I have ever made because it showed me that when we put Jesus first, He will surprise you in ways you never thought possible. He will not only prepare you for your spouse but He will make you fall in love with Him all over again.”

Choosing Freedom

What an awesome testimony she has. The Lord brought her from a broken place to a place of true satisfaction in the one that loved her soul so much more than any man ever could.

So what does my purity ring mean? Im learning that it doesn’t just symbolize a promise from me to God, but a promise from Him to me. Just as a daddy cherishes the heart of his little girl, so does my abba father (daddy) cherish me- yet, so much more. He sees these heartbreaks, these questions, and these desires that are hidden in my heart. He cares for them. He wants to show me the love of Him first, because He knows how fulfilling it is and He wants the best for me. He knows that I must first find all that I am in Him before I can fully love a man. He promises to be all that I need. He promises to be faithful. He promises to lead me in the paths of His purposes, that are perfect. As I look down at my ring finger tonight, I find rest knowing that my God is preparing me for whats to come as He romances me and takes me deeper in love with Himself.

One day I hope to trade in my purity ring for a wedding band, but until that day I will promise myself to Jesus as He promises Himself to me and pursues my soul daily.

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Thank you for being all that I need.

Love, Em