Wow! It’s been such a long time since my fingers have moved across these keys with the intention of writing. In the recent season of my life, I haven’t made much space for these words. I regret that as I feel most creative, free, and vulnerable while fleshing out my emotions, experiences, and lessons I am learning into something that can be read or listened to. A lot of times in the last couple of years I have lacked the words or the ability to piece together the thoughts in my head. This isn’t necessarily due to any “thing”- I think I’ve just been walking through life a lot, learning a lot, and processing a lot.
So, here’s a bit of an update on me: I’m engaged (Woo hoo!) I just became an aunt (Awww!) I’m about to graduate college (Yipee!) And I’m often times an emotional WRECK (what?!) Not where you saw that going, huh? Well, something that I have come to realize in the last couple weeks is that change is H A R D. Transition isn’t easy- even when it is packed full of good things!
I’m learning a cool characteristic about God in the mix of this messy life of mine- He cares deeply for me! There’s been several instances in the last few months where I have been so excited and anxious for the new to set in, yet find myself crying over the old that I will soon, in some ways, leave behind. In that place, I’ve felt guilty. It has kept me from being in the here and now of where the Lord has me. It has caused my focus to be shifted and my energy to be drained. I’m not sure that it’s due to the fact that I’m just a pretty emotional person in general, or the nature of the season I am walking through that has caused me to just be a little bit of a jumbled up mess!
Recently I have been beginning my quiet time by reading through a Psalm. I haven’t made it too far into the book and have already realized a trend throughout- the author of each Psalm is very real. Sometimes after reading a verse I think to myself, “now why would he say that?! Doesn’t he know who he is praying this to?” But that’s the thing! David KNEW who he was talking to! Many times he will begin a Psalm crying out over a certain issue or concern he has, and end it rejoicing over his renewed and restored vision of who God is and what He has promised. For me, there’s been a lot of comfort in the reminder that I can come to the Lord just as I am and He wants to listen, love, and care for me as my Abba Father and remind me who He is.
These transitions that are taking place in my life bring up a lot- thankfulness, worry, excitement, joy, and fear to name a few. I can come before my God with all of those things. There’s a lot of “stuff” changing in my life like moving to a new town, becoming a wife, being further away from family, and starting a full-time career. I’m so thankful for how the Lord is working and moving in my life in all of these different avenues, but more so than that, I am thankful for who HE is- that He is never changing! And I am thankful for the promises that this world is not my home. Although these things that we transition in and out of in our lives and the seasons that we transition through throughout our lives are very real to us, and very much supposed to be walked through for the glory of the Lord, they are only of this world. Our eternal hope is not in the success of all things in our lives- but in the finished work of Jesus Christ.
So, two things before I go:
- The Lord cares for you. All your mess. All your emotions. All your questions and fears. He cares. Come before Him and dig into the Scriptures to know how He can reassure you in His love, and comfort you in His promises. He is our Father, and we are His children! Praise God for that!
- Look to what is yet to come. Yes, these things that we face in life are important and we should not neglect to live for the Lord in all things He gives us. But, we must not forget where we are headed. We must not forget our eternal purpose, and our eternal home. What would change if we practiced living this life- and all it’s crazy seasons that it brings- through the lens of the impending return of our Father and our eternity with Him? That is our hope. That is our confidence. That is our sure strength in and out of every season.
It’s good to be back.
Love, Em
Remember + Rejoice 