A few weeks before I moved away from home for the very first time I sat on my bed staring at the walls of my bedroom. If they could talk, they would have had a thousand stories to tell. They witnessed my childhood blooming, the heartaches of pre-teen life, and the excitement of my high school years. They knew me, in a sense, better than anyone knew me. They had a front row seat to the many emotions I had expressed within them and they had been a part of every new and old season of my life. Leaving the comfort of living within those walls was challenging and emotional, as I felt myself stepping out of a comfort zone that had been established from the beginning.
From those walls I moved to live within the walls of Trojan Village dorm rooms. For the next three years I would see 3 different sets of walls, but all resembling the others. Tonight I sit on my bed in the third of my Trojan Village rooms, reminiscing on the last three years of my journey of life and anticipating the next change of scenery that is coming. Though I am not quite at the end of my journey in Troy only one semester stands between me and graduation. Next semester I’ll be living off campus with my brother for my very last semester of Troy and his very first! I’m not quite sure how these years went by so quickly.
I’ve spent Freshmen, Sophomore, and Junior years within the walls of Trojan Village. Though small, it’s served as my space and my comfort where I could close off the world and just be alone with me. For other introverts reading along, you know how sacred that space can be! Within these walls I have faced immense growth that I was pridefully unaware that I was even in need of.
Freshman year brought tears and trials of a new beginning. I would sit behind my closed door too afraid of what was to come when I walked out of it. Who would I meet? Where would I go? How would I make it in the world? The walls of my freshmen year dorm faced with me the questioning and the struggling of figuring out my new life in Troy. As the year paced on, with it came new and unexpected friendships, a local church body, and many sweet memories that I’ll cherish for a lifetime.
Sophomore year was a year of becoming established. I finally felt more comfortable even outside the walls of my dorm room. I knew this place, I knew my people, and I knew my time here was good. There was less fear, less worry, and less tears. However, no year came without it’s portion of hardship. Within the walls of my sophomore year dorm I battled pride and bitterness. I sat before scripture and in prayer and the Lord revealed to me more about myself and my faith than ever before- and He also revealed to me more of Himself. Friendships wavered, and some stood strong. Those walls saw sadness, they saw joy, they saw struggle, and they saw victory.
Junior year, the year I’m finishing up now, has been one that I can’t quite define just yet. There’s a big shift that happens between sophomore and junior year I feel like, where the end is more in site but still not quite there for you to grasp. This year my door has seemed to stand open more than it has in the past. Though I love my space, something in me began to open up to allow room for others to come in. I knew I needed that time to myself and Jesus, but I also saw clearly my need for others as well. It’s been a year of questioning, change, and anticipation. Troy now feels like home, but only a home away from the home that will always be “home.” This year has seen the excitement of engagement, new friends, and new desires for what’s to come after college. Within the walls of this year, there has been deep sorrow over sin that takes hold, refreshing and renewed vision of the grace of Jesus, and humble bowing before the King of Kings that I need daily.
From one room to the next, as I look back over my time within these spaces I cannot help but think of the faithfulness of my God. Though many times I was unaware when it was present, He was working all things together for good- and He still is! It’s wild to me to think that this season of my journey will soon come to an end and the next one will begin. My time in Troy has not come without it’s regrets. There are things I see now that I didn’t see at the time, friendships I wish I would have mended sooner, and things I wish I would have had more boldness to step out in. However, it has been filled in even greater ways with sweet things- friends that will be by me for the long haul, lessons that have completely changed who I am and how I live, countless laughs and late nights, and many many other good gifts from the Lord.
I’m not sure who is reading this or what season that you are currently facing, whether its the beginning, middle, or end of it, but I want to speak one thing over your life:
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
I am speaking it over my life, as well. There were times my freshmen I wasn’t sure I’d make it through this journey of college. My heart ached for certain things to be restored or made whole. I thought I would never find a church home. I was confident the man I would marry would not be in Troy. While some of those aches and questions did eventually find answers over my years here, others still haven’t. But the truth of this verse puts all things at rest- whatever He begins, He finishes! Though it might not seem that way in the midst, from afar all things are being woven intricately and sovereignly together not only in a good way, but in the BEST way. Think back over the span of your life and I am sure you will see Him there, working and weaving.
The Lord cares for His children. He loves us. He has not left us. I am thankful for how He has shown me more of Himself within the walls of my dorm rooms, but also as I ventured out into this world each day.
Here’s to one last season in this town. Though I’m not sure where the next stop along this journey will be just quite yet, (though I do know part of it will be marrying my best friend wahoo!!!) I look forward to how I will know God more in that place and the opportunities He will bring for me to make Him known, as He has done day in and day out in Troy.
I am thankful that within these walls of the last three years of my life He gracefully met me, loved me, guided me, and called me closer and closer into His arms. He is good, and He is worthy of our lives and our praise.
Love, Em
Remember + Rejoice 