It is crazy to me how fast this semester has flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was unpacking bags with my mom and sister, nervous about sorority recruitment, if I would have any friends, and getting lost going to class. I had no idea what was to come. As I have said before, I came into college with many expectations. I had watched friends go before and I had so many ideas of what my four years would turn out to be. I had an agenda for my freshman year and unknowingly the Lord had a completely different one.
The first few weeks of this semester were tough. I knew people, but I felt like I had no friends. I questioned if doing a sorority was something I should have done or not. Nothing was turning out the way I had expected it to. I was in my dorm every night way earlier than I wanted to be with no plans on the weekends except to go somewhere other than Troy. I was bitter, I was tired, I was fearful, and I was upset. For some reason I thought that as soon as I moved away from home this new place with all these new people would instantly become my new normal, but it didn’t. I had dreamed of the day of being on my own, and now that I was facing that season of life I did not understand why all I wanted to do was run back home.
Now I sit on the other end of that first semester. Has everything turned out just as I planned for it to? Absolutely not. As I look back over these past few months, however, I am amazed at God’s faithfulness to me. It look several weeks, but eventually I began to find my group of people. He blessed me with a few great girls that I finally felt myself around. I laughed with them, danced in the car with them, took random trips to Montgomery with them. He even established some friendships that were totally unexpected, but have turned out to be so incredibly sweet. I don’t stay out doing crazy fun things every night, but I know I always have people that I can call on now. Through one of those friendships He began The Redeemed girl’s ministry. We recently had out first gathering with over 60 girls. It was incredible! I was also recently elected chaplain of Alpha Gamma Delta, a place where a couple months ago I wasn’t even sure I fit in. Now I will get the opportunity to share what I’m most passionate about, Jesus Christ, with a bunch of girls that I have grown to love and cherish.
The beginning of this semester was a time of waiting and I wasn’t doing a very good job at it. I was trusting in my works and my treasures, without acknowledging what He might have in store. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it when He had completely different plans that were so much better than my own that I was too busy to take notice of. And now I look around and am humbled by how He has worked things out in ways I never imagined and placed me in positions and friendships that I could not have thought of myself, and I am so undeserving of it all. This semester is a complete testimony of His grace and His goodness. College hasn’t been all that I expected it to be, but the Lord has been much more faithful than I expected Him to be.
Maybe you’re in a season of waiting like I have found myself in with many different things in my life. I’m not sure what you might be facing that might be causing fear, worry, impatience, or stress. We all struggle with different things. But if He has placed you in a time of waiting, don’t assume He has left you there. It isn’t a fun or easy place to be in, but it is a place where you can grow, where you can get to know your Father more, and where He can prepare you for all that is to come. It is a place of hope, worship, and learning. I was waiting with a bitter heart when He was weaving together beautiful things for me. I see now how faithful He has been. What if I had approached that time with expectant eyes, trusting in His work and His treasures? There are things in my life that I’m still waiting on, but after being humbled so from this semester, He has worked in my heart to view those place as places of opportunity, preparation, and growth- and I don’t want to rush it. What we can take away from this season might be the exact thing we need for what we are waiting for to fit just as it should in our lives.
I’m in awe of how faithful He has been throughout my life. I am not sure why I ever lack trust when I can look back over so many situations where He has shown Himself true to me. He is a good, good Father and is perfect in ALL of His ways, even the ones that don’t make complete sense to us. Let go of your own will and wait.
Psalm 27:14
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
Check out this incredible song, “While I’m Waiting,” by John Waller
Dear Abba Father,
Thank you for your faithfulness, for your grace, and for your way above mine. You are so good.
Love, Em
Remember + Rejoice 